It’s a new month, I’m feeling really positive! June is my favourite month out of the whole year, it always brings a smile to my face and a burst of positivity. It’s always -well mostly- hot. She says as the whole morning was spent raining buckets. As Spring comes to an end, the air feels fresher and June just gives me an extra burst of life. The sun shines bright in the sky in June, it gives me extra energy and makes me super positive. Plus, it’s also my birthday this month which makes June extra special.
I’ve got exams for the first three weeks of June. My first one is on Thursday. Yikes! I’ve only got six exams this year (compared to like 20 for my GCSE’s) and I feel pretty positive about them. Around the exam period, I’m generally pretty calm. Continue reading “New Month & Positivity”→
Blogging for some is a form of expression. For others, it’s a place to write about their favourite things. To me, blogging has always been something that allows me to share my opinions, feelings and life’s problems to a wider audience.
Blogging has built my confidence and developed my writing skills. I am now both confident as a person and as a writer. Whether I had my name attached or not, I always found a sense of anonymity that comes with blogging. And that’s what I enjoy about it.
I know my friends and family read my blog. I love the fact that they’re supportive. But that’s what grounds me and sometimes I want to be able to write freely about something knowing that the person who inspired me to write isn’t judging me.
Why does everyone keep reminding me how close my exams are? Do they not think I can’t see the giant sign above June shouting ‘Exam season’?
I suffer from anxiety. It’s an annoying little bugger, isn’t it? It gets really bad at times and others it’s not there. And I stupidly keep it to myself, despite all my friends wanting to help and support me.
One thing I notice is when someone mentions how many weeks left to exams, my heart beats faster, breaths get shorter, my hands get clammy and sweat beads on my brow. Anyone mentioning the countdown of exams only feeds my anxiety.
Did you know in my Sixth form, the countdown to exams begin on the first day of the year? That every week, they shove down the shrinking number of weeks left down our throats? And they wonder why Anxiety is becoming a growing issue amongst teens. Continue reading “Countdown to exams | Feed my Anxiety”→
You have this one life. How do you want to spend it? Apologizing? Regretting? Stressing out? Worrying about the future? Running after people that don’t deserve you? Don’t waste your time. This is your life. Take control. Stop waiting for Fridays and start enjoying all the Tuesdays. Stop waiting for all those things you wish could happen and make them happen. Enjoy all the little things. Go for a drive at midnight and forget about the pending work. Dream big and fight for what you believe in. Take risks. Tell secrets. Start enjoying the sky at sunset and the breeze in the morning. Sing along even if you go off tune. Dance to the song even if you look like a drunk elephant while dancing. Do what you feel like and do what makes you feel good. When are you going to realize that you can do what you want?…
So I thought this would be fun to do. I watched one of the YouTubers I watch do it and thought I’d try it myself.
Did you wake up cranky?
I suppose so, I was still tired when my Mum woke up and she was blaming me for something.
Would you date an 18-year-old at your current age?
Well, I’m nearly 18 so it’s kind of like would I date someone in the same year (of school) as me. The answer to that is no. I think I’m alright at the moment. I’m happy just being me. And the boys that I know, yeah, my answer’s not going to change.
Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?
Umm, I don’t mind either way; I’m friends with both. I don’t really know what I would prefer, my closest friendship group is just girls so I guess that means I prefer being friends with girls.
Would you ever smile at a stranger?
Yes, I’ve smiled at strangers before. It’s a nice thing to do. I don’t go smiling at every stranger but if something happens like they move out of my way (that sounds rude) or something else then I would smile. It just makes you friendly and in London, it’s like a silent ‘thank you’.
I don’t know how many times I’ve started writing this post and I can guarantee it’s not even going to be that exciting. I don’t even feel entirely confident on this post.
I stopped writing on this blog around nine months ago. I just felt that being MorganGirl1999 wasn’t who I wanted to be anymore. I didn’t feel like the same person and I couldn’t connect to that girl I once was.
Over that summer, I’ve always said I’ve found myself, discovered ME. But I like reflecting on past events and reflecting on that Summer I think I changed and I lost myself. I grew up from that girl I once was; the girl who was happy, free, confident, passionate, and enthusiastic. Now I look at myself and I don’t recognise myself, everything I was I still am but I’m cynical. Happiness and freedom are short lived. My happiness isn’t the same, it doesn’t go all through my body like it used too. Everything just became so much harder.
I think I know why that happened and I think I know who caused it. I won’t talk about them because I’m finally in the right place and I don’t want to retrace those steps all over again. I was stupid and made the mistake of trying to settle for something much lower than I ever deserved and I think I lost my confidence. I just didn’t realise it.
It all changed when my friend said something to me at Christmas, she told me in not so many words that I’m still MorganGirl1999 and whoever I grow up to be, I will always be that girl. That touched a nerve. I always live by JLo’s Jenny from the Block ‘No matter where I go, I know where I came from’ so why wasn’t I listening to my own words.
I miss this blog, I miss writing about everything and nothing. This blog made me who I am, I discovered what I enjoyed doing. I didn’t share everything and I probably should have but this is where it all started and this is where it will continue.
So I’m back here again, writing nonsense and sharing it.
I own the book but I’ve never read it. My Mum has and my Friend has borrowed it. I knew roughly what the film was about, I knew that someone was going to die. My Mum briefly mentioned it. And even though I might have given away a massive spoiler, I haven’t.
It was a beautiful story, that is occasionally cheesy but also very funny. There are traits in Louisa’s character that I connected with and I felt all the high and lows in the film. Despite roughly knowing what would happen at the end, nothing could have prepared me for the loss that I felt. It is a sad film and there were tears rolling down my face. Not just because he died but because of the happy moments that they shared and how they came together, how he still cared about her even though he had made a choice that she did not agree with.
It’s a beautiful film (I’ve said that quite a lot, I know) and it’s up to you whether you want to watch it. I don’t think I’ve spoiled it too much for you- I’m sorry if I have- but it’s a journey that will affect everyone differently.
I always find Baking is good for the soul. It’s relaxing, doesn’t require much thought and you get to eat cake afterward. What’s not to love?!
I always put some music on, get all my ingredients on the counter in front of me and start baking. I’ve been doing it for a long time so I can remember a few recipes by heart, and any additional bits (essence, zest or powder etc) I want to use goes in. I love the smell of a cake in the oven because it’s everywhere in the kitchen and it smells so good.
Baking is great because it’s like therapy (I find). You spend time mixing together ingredients, breaking a sweat and at the end you get to eat yummy cake.
I’m really feeling Beyoncé right now. I admit when I first heard the album, Lemonade, I wasn’t sure about it: I was streaming it online, it was a new sound, not something I would instantly connect to. But I listened to it a few times and bought the visual album. And I’m really liking it. So here are my top 5 songs:
Top 5 songs:
Pray you Catch Me
6 Inch ft The Weeknd
Freedom ft Kendrick Lamar
P.S- I’d put all of them if I could. Especially Daddy Lessons.